$disanpoter

consolidation

for those of you who don't pick this up off of facebook, i'm switching this blog over from typepad to here. it's silly to have both services when i have the time to use either so infrequently.

the dangers of sure why not *

certain trends remain constant when i attend parties: for starters, when they're over i feel like i've barely spent anytime with any of my friends. also, i'll let conversations fall off mid-sentence to go dance or to follow the tug of a hand that's leading my own (though i'm selective with which hands can do this), and most significantly, i go into that willfully distributed consciousness mode i've mentioned before where i delay analysis and absorb experience. the drawback is that in this mode, i'm more likely to let someone have my number who in a more alert state i would recognize immediately as someone i'm not going to be interested in.
i think perhaps, also, i'm more attractive in this state than i am as my normal self, because people will latch on to me, change their plans and come back to where i am, hang around all evening, etc - and this doesn't really happen when i don't let go. this is a side consideration and one i'm not terribly thrilled about.
so anyway, i gave my number to a guy at a party on friday. he called multiple times on saturday without leaving a message. so i called him back in the evening to say - hey got the phone calls, but can't talk. let's talk sometime later. actually i don't remember if that was saturday or sunday. but today he calls and leaves a message at 7:30. it's a busy night for me and i'm not so happy (see previous post). i don't really feel like talking to a potential date. 11:27 rolls around; there's a text message: "hey - are you asleep?"
now, i can understand that this may just be impatience. but from a guy who got out of the cab friday night at my stop instead of continuing on, who could have watched me head down the block and up the stairs to my building, this is kinda creepy. hell, it's downright creepy either way.
so to recap, things not to do if you'd like to maintain someone's interest. don't -

• get their number on your way out, then decide come back and spend the remainder of the party at their side
• call and not leave a message
• call multiple times without leaving a message
• call multiple times until they pick up
• call and then text them asking why they haven't called (this one didn't happen)
• call and then text them within a half hour of midnight to ask if they're still up

unless, you didn't get their number and instead you hooked up, then calling multiple times without a message or calling right before midnight and asking if they're still up would fall under booty-call behavior and could conceivably be amenable depending on how the initial hook-up went.

creepy boys.

* or, 'when boys consider any gesture of interest tantamount to desperation'

oogle me google me

someone wandered on to this blog this morning after searching on google for the Rejection hotline. apparently, at some point over a year ago, when i was trying out the whole online dating thing for a bit, i'd used the number as the title of a post about the ridiculousness of having signed up for the service at all when i didn't really want to be dating anyone - or even meeting anyone, really. what's disturbing, today, is that my blog post is the only result that comes up.
only yesterday i was talking to a friend of mine about how i'm not so sure i want to be dating anyone. it's true, too, though it's not so simple, obviously - and its interesting to run across that post now, when the reasons are so different. back then i really didn't want to. i didn't want the emotional toll of it, i think. it's hard to tell the post isn't very well written. lately, i think i do want to date, i'm just averse to the loss of connections that comes from that not working out.

i don't really have that much more to say on that. friday night i had a good time hanging out with a guy from work. it was a long sustained time of close to 10 hours ultimately, and yet i think for much of it the conversation and interaction was pretty interesting (this judgment become more suspect as the night and my level of intoxication progressed).

now i'm out at my mom's. my grandparents are here and we're all going to play a bit of bridge. recovering from friday saturday, i really didn't want to come out, but now that i'm here, i'm so glad that i came. it's just so nice to see family - even if only for a day.

variations on the theme of positively insane

i don't remember the last few weeks. i think i've been out every night, but i really couldn't tell you where. like last night, i'm fairly certain i was more exhausted than intoxicated. in my memory it unfolds backwards before me like a flowing stream of chatter and bright voices and silliness. i was planning on having a quiet night to myself - then bistra called, and instead of checking out the music at south paw on my own and then making up for my complete lack of exercise this week, i headed into manhattan, ostensibly to chill at a hookah bar for a bit and then see where our moods took us. if i had known how many places i'd go after that, i'd have eaten more than a bag of popcorn for dinner. we walked to the hookah bar in the east village. the cover was ridiculous, so we left without drinking, and walked instead up to the karaoke bar i'd gone to weds. it was a more interesting crowd last night, but they became obnoxious by the end. after we met up with allison and deme and their friends at a celebration for an indie screening. apparently the film was quite good, but i wasn't invited to the screening so i don't know (not that i should have been invited or am upset by this. afterall, i'm contentedly done with the whole film scene). it was much more fun than i expected it to be. i was anticipating a more mingled crowd, but when we arrived, we hung out mostly with those four - which, i think, was a thing i very much wanted and didn't realize nor can explain. but something about the dynamic and the particular kind of non-attention one gets when simply around established friends who are doing more of the interacting let me relax in a way that i haven't been able to in all the excessive socializing i've been up to lately. in that way it was the exact opposite of last saturday, when despite a general liking towards everyone at the table, i felt alone and out-of-place. after that we went downtown to cafe wha? and danced a bit to the cover band. i finally remembered i needed to eat something and got some fries with mayonnaise.

the other quality of the night that's becoming a quality of my social interactions in general is a lack of detail and control. it's odd thing and it's taken me a while to figure out what the shift is. i haven't been tracking my conversations as much while i have them. it used to be if something was mentioned and then side-lined, it would stay in my thoughts as something to return to, and when the opportunity arrived to reintroduce it, i would. having a conversation with someone acquired a derivative goal of neatly concluding each raised topic, so as to avoid the lingering suspicions after it was over that something might have been misconstrued or misunderstood, or that some chance at greater commonality might have been missed in not saying something. often lately, my conversations have a single meandering thread. it's unsettling, still. it leaves the impression that i've missed or forgotten things or that i've perhaps said or done the wrong thing, but i think (i hope) that it only feels like things are missing because of how much less over-processing i'm investing in.

so in conclusion, (and here i'm going to do what one is never supposed to do in a paper: list out all the things i didn't mention before) it's been a crazy few weeks. monday i may not have done anything. i'd scratched my cornea and could barely open my eyes they were so sensitive. tuesday was the first bridge and beer night. it's amazing how tipsy you can get when you bet drinks of beer instead of chips during poker. wednesday was karaoke night. though i enjoyed the company of those who came, the place was a bit of a disappointment. i think it will only be an alternate karaoke spot. plus, i think it'll be a few weeks before the next karaoke night - scheduling wise it's difficult. thursday was a work party, which was very fun, and included the unexpected pleasantness of getting to know some of my collegues better. part of what i was enjoying about the prospect of a solitary friday night was looking forward to a less packed week next week. that lasted even less time than the plans for a solitary friday. no sooner had i anticipated some time at home next week then i realized i had once again planned something for every evening. monday i've got a group dinner to go to. tuesday i'm volunteering. wednesday is card night, and thursday i've got a gallery thingie to go to. friday's open, though, judging from recent events, i'll lack the will-power to decline any particularly intriguing invitation.

this is what i mean when i speak of craziness. no sooner do i wonder whether i'll see my friends at all in the coming week than i discover i've booked my evenings up completely. but do i stop? do i change? please...

slow pick interludes on the acoustic guitar

do not a folk-rock following make...

so i've been listening to Z100 for the late morning. i'm doing mostly data entry at the moment because we've got a large set of crappy data that just can't be accurately imported into our new system using some kind of parsing rubric (this by the way, bites. sucks. blows. and hugely, but so it goes). i figured it was a good opportunity to re-expose myself to the mainstream. fergie's got a song that's apparently popular "Big girls don't cry." It's a far cry from fergilicious, but someone needs to tell her that no matter how soundly her writer has placed the sound in the folk rock/light rock niche it just doesn't fly. even i, who can't help but stop and listen to some nice acoustic thrumming was impatient for the end.

on a high note, i was amused by the attempt - then i was further amused by the 'hey (hey!) you (you!) - i don't like your girlfriend" song that followed. now that's an entertaining throw back to an 'older' sound.

also, i've been told to check out a band playing at housing works in a few weeks. so i'm looking forward to getting home and looking them up/checking them out.

oh - and the "hey there delilah" song. that's just a solid quality tune. i like. you should listen to it.

(and don't think that i'm missing the ridiculousness of me acting like these are all as new to you all as they are to totally out of touch me.)

you're too sexy for a free new ipod

since you are all friends of mine and thus, exceptionally cool and -dare we say- brilliant, i am sure you will have no trouble winning this new contest that being run by the company at which your very cool, very savvy, very admirable, and very shameless friend (me) works. check it out. just by being the geeky nerdy people that you are and standing proud for it, you could win your very own ipod.

and yes i did make that whole bloody sentence a link just to increase the chances some of you would click it. don't you want to know what i do all day!? don't you want to have the smug satisfaction of saying, yeah-but i can do it better? well then. try. i dare you.

actually, proto's cool. you should totally try it out.

Score!

One of the 4 focuses of the endo conference this year is 'the endocrine brain.' I'm psyched, psyched. Couldn't be more perfect...

It's the opening plenary at the moment so they're a bit heavy on the wise quotes, so far we've had:
~The Einstein quote on simplicity.
~"Beautiful hypotheses slain by ugly facts" - Thomas Henry Huxley

think i'll meet any cute guys at this!?

Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School
What: A boozy life drawing class of scantily clad burlesque dancers, rippling men, and circus freaks.
Why: Prizes for Best Left Hand Drawing and Best Incorporation of a Woodland Creature. (Those are not Freudian slips.)
When: Sat., 3-6 p.m.
Where: Lucky Cat Lounge, 245 Grand St., b/t Driggs & Roebling Sts., Williamsburg (718-782-0437).

I actually like this place, it's chill and cheep. what more can you ask for? except maybe for sake.

This might be the week to make up for the past few less that social ones. Bistra's having a party Sat, and i could go to this before hand, and then i think there some band she likes that's having a CD release party Friday. It's just Sunday i need to find things for. We may go back for karaoke late late Friday too. It was pretty fun tonight. i went with songs i'm fairly good on, largely, so i wasn't to disappointed in myself. and Bistra used her diaphragm on Black Velvet, which of course, is both good and bad. good that's she's learned how; bad because now she'll be leagues beyond me in sounding good. knowing how to sing and my range are my saving graces...

doncha'

they just played the budweiser girlfriend song on the radio. now they're playing some gritty male angst band. not that that's all that bad. repetitive though...

anyway, i was like that girlfriend song a few weeks ago, around the same time that i was debating with justin whether there was any difference between the terms 'nympho' and 'horndog'...ignoring the gender implications. he thought they were pretty much the same; i of course didn't. the song just amuses me. it's a role i wouldn't mind playing.

in other news...it's karaoke night! but a short karaoke night, since i've been sleep deprived recently (though not as much as the rest of my building). and i'm ridiculously excited about the model i've come up with for procedural rule control. the more serious specs are over on my project notes blog, which reminds me i meant to add that feed to the sidebar over here...

The Return of Shindiggedness!

I'm having a game night. people are actually coming (and, they seemed pretty excited about it, too!). in fact any of you who've been to my place before and know how to find it are welcome to join in the festivities. it's an open kind of thing...

not that i'm prepared for this. but it'll all be good anyway.